Points & Prattle (7/6/12)

Posted by Joe Hansen on

Points & Prattle is a weekly round-up of noteworthy links and stories, first developed during my time at the “Voice of the Saints” blog. Expect some sports, some pop culture, and some general thoughts.

It’s a holiday week, so we’ll go straight on to the links:

  • The Wild made the 4th of July one of the biggest days in Minnesota sports history with their official signings of Zach Parise and Ryan Suter. I could make a joke about a team with a lake for a logo reeling in the big fish of free agency, but I won’t put you through that.
  • Meanwhile, across town the Timberwolves are trying the Twins’ old habit of signing retreads. Despite that, fans seem excited about the Brandon Roy signing. And to that I say, good luck.
  • Oops. Officials in San Diego accidentally set off all of their fireworks at the same time.
  • While David Freese and Yu Darvish were named the final (pre-injury and pre-“injury”) members of their selective All-Star Teams, Scott Miller of CBS Sports presents the “Anti All-Stars,” those players who gave us the worst effort and output of the season.
  • I would have a hard time not stealing one of these life-size LEGO flowers or trees that dotted the Australian outback.
  • My wrestling link of the week could bring a smile to the hardest of hearts, with an unfortunate trading card.
  • This Florida lifeguard learned the hard way to never go above and beyond the call of duty.
  • I always knew racing would be better if it was more like Mario Kart, but who knew just the inclusion of sound effects and music would be such an improvement?

Enjoy the weekend, sportsfans.

A Writer on Wrestling (7/3/12): How C.M. Punk Saved My Life

Posted by Joe Hansen on

A Writer on Wrestling

“A Writer on Wrestling” is a weekly column that takes the world of the WWE and sports entertainment beyond the eye test. As the name suggests, the article looks through the eyes of an author, focusing on the storytelling aspect of sports entertainment and the “soap opera for men.”

To say June of 2011 was a rut for me would be a poor excuse for verbal irony, if not a gross understatement. I was living on my own for the first time, not in the “oh, fun, I’ve moved out of my parents’ house” way, but in the “crippling, anxiety-filled loneliness” way. Fueled by the stress of graduating college, relationship drama, and what can best be described as a lack of self-worth combined with a quarter-life identity crisis, my life was spiraling out of control. Insomnia filled the nights that weren’t already brimming with alcohol and an ever-creeping desire to see how many of the pills my doctor prescribed to battle my sleeplessness would cause a more permanent solution.   Continue reading →

Points & Prattle (6/29/12)

Posted by Joe Hansen on

Points & Prattle is a weekly round-up of noteworthy links and stories, first developed during my time at the “Voice of the Saints” blog. Expect some sports, some pop culture, and some general thoughts.

There are some sports fans that are happier when their team is struggling, or mired in controversy, than when they are winning. It certainly gives people something to talk about and bloggers (like me) more to write about.

But the amount of hostility towards Boston Red Sox pitcher Clay Buchholz attending a charity event instead of traveling with the team cross-country less than 24 hours after being released from the hospital is just silly.

The team did not seem to mind; their own doctors cleared him to do it. So, why are fans like Eric Wilbur of Boston.com and this Boston radio show having a field day with it? Wilbur suggests that it was something Buccholz himself did that caused his illness – which I doubt will ever be proven, even if true – but even still, that doesn’t change the fact that he was in the hospital. Cross-country flights take a bigger toll on the body than a few-hour drive into Connecticut for a brief appearance.

As a general rule, I say don’t ever criticize someone recovering from illness because everyone’s body is different, and don’t ever spear someone famous for doing something charitable. It’s not often we see it happen.

Now, on to the links:

  • The NBA Draft was last night, and Bill Simmons live-blogged it over at Grantland. Somehow, covering the 3+ hour spectacle created a shorter post than he usually writes.
  • While I have no doubt about his ability to play basketball, it would appear that Harrison Barnes suffers from an inability to properly wear a baseball hat.
  • Great moments in baseball celebration, courtesy of Aroldis Chapman, and less so from this Brewers minor league team.
  • In a follow-up to the “Clown Question, Bro” Bryce Harper story, the Denver Beer Co. decided to create the Clown Question Beer, and upon arriving in Denver, Harper asked them to donate at least some of the profits to the family of a Denver police officer killed in the line of duty.
  • And why wouldn’t someone recreate Van Gogh’s Starry Night using dominoes? You’ve gotta stick with it all the way to really appreciate it.
  • A pair of West Virginia lawsuits filed against Kim Kardashian, Kris Humphries, et al. are too strange for words.
  • Our wrestling link of the week is a tip of the hat to a website I just discovered, Kayfabe news. It’s basically The Onion of wrestling “dirt sheets.” This poor guy was disappointed in his standing in Pro-Wrestling Illustrated’s annual Top 500.
  • ESPN showed a men’s slow pitch softball game the other day, prompting Awful Announcing to wonder aloud what other random sports they ought to air.

To all the seamheads attending the SABR convention in Minneapolis this weekend, I envy and applaud you.  Enjoy the weekend, sportsfans.

Joe Hansen is the Blogger-in-Chief of Eye Exam Sports. He is a 2011 graduate of The College of St. Scholastica in Duluth, Minnesota and a published author of short stories. He can be reached on Twitter via @thejoehansen.

Dwyane Wade Hates America

Posted by Joe Hansen on

Fresh off an NBA Finals victory and having no trouble celebrating with his Miami Heat teammates at today’s victory parade, Dwyane Wade told the Associated Press last Friday that he had been dealing with knee pain throughout the playoffs.

Wade will get the knee scoped this week, with possible surgery looming. Despite playing through the pain en route to his second NBA title, Wade is all-but-predicting that he’ll miss this summer’s Olympics in London. Continue reading →

Points & Prattle (6/22/12)

Posted by Joe Hansen on

Points & Prattle is a weekly round-up of noteworthy links and stories, first developed during my time at the “Voice of the Saints” blog. Expect some sports, some pop culture, and some general thoughts.

I spent a long time this week thinking about what I wanted to write about the Roger Clemens decision that came down on Monday. I have a lot of conflicting opinions on it, and it doesn’t start and end with Hall of Fame worthiness.

Mainly, I’ve been thinking about the calls from people that it was a waste of time and taxpayer money to investigate him in the first place. On one hand, I don’t think Congressional pressure on the major sports leagues is altogether a bad thing. Without it, baseball and football would likely still be in the Dark Ages of steroid and drug testing. On the other hand, it probably WAS a waste for them to go through the perjury trial, not because it inevitably came up empty, but because Clemens had already been tried – by the court of public opinion.

Whatever the decision, Clemens was not going to escape that trial with his reputation clear. People still today and will continue going forward to believe that Clemens took steroids, whether it’s true or not. Whether this should affect Clemens’ Hall of Fame candidacy is a discussion for a different day, but it’s unfortunate that as soon as the word “steroids” is attached to an athlete, there’s no getting out from under it.

Now, on to the links:

  • Congrats to the Miami Heat on an NBA Championship. Everyone can criticize LeBron James for having to “join someone else’s team” in order to get a ring, but his MVP Trophy leads me to believe that he made it HIS team.
  • I’m not going to nitpick San Francisco 49ers running back Brandon Jacobs’ kind gesture to a young New York Giants fan who tried to bribe him back on the team, but I can’t help but feel with his possible $2 million income next season, he could do a little more.
  • ESPN has made some questionable decisions in the past, but this may be inexcusable.
  • I have a hard time believing this woman’s lawsuit alleging a little leaguer intentionally hit her with an overthrown ball will hold up in court. Or at least, it better not.
  • As someone with tattoos, I’m not one to judge others for their choices of ink.  That being said, it doesn’t surprise me that someone with this particular tattoo would be responsible for shooting someone on his balcony. Or, more accurately, that they’d be able to identify him so quickly.
  • Wrestling link of the week: The Masked Man does it again, this time reminding us why strong female characters can help the industry and why A.J. is setting the standard for this generation of “Diva.”
  • There’s an old game when it comes to weird web stories, asking whether the story is from “Florida or Ohio?” But here in Minnesota, we often assume they are from Wisconsin. This time, we’d be right.
  • Those who don’t follow the NHL very closely may be surprised to hear that its entry draft is tonight at all, let alone that the Edmonton Oilers have the #1 overall pick for the third straight year (Very Lions-esque). Live, on-going coverage is available here.

Enjoy the weekend, sportsfans.

Joe Hansen is the Blogger-in-Chief of Eye Exam Sports. He is a 2011 graduate of The College of St. Scholastica in Duluth, Minnesota and a published author of short stories. He can be reached on Twitter via @thejoehansen.

The Most Perfect Perfection

Posted by Logan Fredrickson on

Two days ago San Francisco Giant’s Pitcher Matt Cain threw the 22nd perfect game in MLB history. Cain mowed down Houston Astros like dandelions in my late-grandpas lawn striking out 14 of the 27 batters he faced. The 14 Ks are tied for the most in a perfect game in the modern era, Koufax struck out 14 in a 1965 perfect game against the Cubs. Cain’s performance has been heralded as possibly the greatest pitching performance of all time. There is no question that it is easily one of the top MLB games ever pitched, but #1… I would beg to differ.

Continue reading →

Points & Prattle (6/15/12)

Posted by Joe Hansen on

Points & Prattle is a weekly round-up of noteworthy links and stories, first developed during my time at the “Voice of the Saints” blog. Expect some sports, some pop culture, and some general thoughts.

Is insomnia something someone should list on job applications? I feel like dedicating those few extra hours of wakefulness to work could be seen as a good thing. Of course, shift work doesn’t really lend itself to such a scenario. On to the links:

  • Speaking of shiftwork, I’ll be missing out on WWE’s latest pay-per-view effort, No Way Out, on Sunday thanks to something resembling a “real” job, and I already did a wrestling-related piece this week so I’ll leave this month’s preview to the Masked Man.
  • Congrats to the L.A. Kings on claiming the Stanley Cup trophy this week. I heard so much about how great it was to see the “underdog” win although, as Barry Petchesky points out over at Deadspin, that’s exactly who DIDN’T win.
  • Boxing: Still more fixed than wrestling, but this judge from the Pacqiuo/Bradley fight doesn’t seem to think so.
  • If you haven’t seen it yet, a Canadian reporter tried to goat 19-year-old Bryce Harper into telling him what his “favorite Canadian beer” was, prompting the classic response, “That’s a clown question, bro.” But, as Peter Griffin learned on Family Guy, Mormons don’t drink.
  • R.A. Dickey and the Mets return to P&P for the second straight week, as he tossed a one-hitter Wednesday night. The lone hit was of the infield variety and came on a close play, but was a hit by all accounts – except the Mets’ apparently.
  • Dickey’s would have been the pitching performance of the night if it weren’t for Matt Cain’s perfect game – one that statistically could be called the greatest game ever pitched.
  • I don’t much care for Jim Rome, but his question to Commissioner David Stern on whether or not the NBA had reason to rig its draft lottery in favor of New Orleans this year probably deserved a more dignified response than this.
  • Living in a state that is home to the Wild and much debate on whether its verbs should be acted as plural or singular, it brings me much joy to know that NBA writers are now subject to the torture of a Heat-Thunder Finals match-up, which was knotted up at one apiece last night. (For the record, they should all be singular, no matter what ESPN tells you).
  • It was a good run, but I finally was subjected to the song “Call Me Maybe” this past week. I can at least take solace in the fact that I’m not alone.
  • Finally, some homework to close the week. Well, actually, the Bears cornerback “Peanut” Tillman already finished it for you. Well, sort of.

Enjoy the weekend, sportsfans.

Joe Hansen is the Blogger-in-Chief of Eye Exam Sports. He is a 2011 graduate of The College of St. Scholastica in Duluth, Minnesota and a published author of short stories. He can be reached on Twitter via @thejoehansen.